I went for a run earlier to check if my legs worked after watching 5 episodes of a show called Dogs With Jobs. Did you know there’s a show called Dogs With Jobs? There’s a show called Dogs With Jobs. When I got back I put all of the clothes I brought from school into the wash and lay down to watch more Dogs With Jobs.
I woke up hours later, sweaty and starving. I made myself vegan brussels sprouts and bacon because I hate myself and veggie bacon is the 8th circle of Hell.
I watched the first episode of The Virgin Diaries as I ate. Huge mistake man. These people are fucked up. All of them. Not because they’re waiting to have sex (although I think it goes against nature but hey humans have survived this long by going against nature and I’ll never give up my technology or fountains made of chocolate) but because they are fucked up. One seems like he’s in the closet, one seems like he has severe anxiety; one woman describes her future husband as a “perfect rockstar who will sweep me off my feet” and talked about marriage within the first 30 seconds of a blind date. A way more interesting show would be to watch these people go through therapy and work through their issues. Instead we just laugh at the guy who can barely smooch his wife and ignore how depressing it is when he asks her “Why do you want to kiss so much?”
